pagi" sudah bete aja bwaan x. tadi malem ak bambung, bingung mo ngapaen sampe ngaco omonganku, trus suasana hati juga ngga mendukung ! finally i'm here, in a bad mood. i don't lie :D
everybody need their own time for grow their mood. and that's happen to me. i starting to realize that i will lost my BF if i still did this. i just don't know why i can't be honest. and it's sucks. i do want to tell him, but looked what i did?! i just crushed it all with many different arguments. since the last time i checked, i'm done with anybody in my past. but now, why they showed up again? all last year i was trying so hard to be the right girl for **, but i'm not. this isn't work at all. but then, i agreed that it's not my decision to make, i don't even try. i'm too scared too spoiled those day, and sometimes remember all of those memories behind.
i don't wanna put this down, so i will try with my best to do anything. once more, why i feel always in doubt? i always feel that way. and i just can't be honest that i can't 100% believe in him. it's not like he's cheating or something, but... i don't know. it's just doesn't seems right. in one side, i don't wanna hurt him with my past and all of my stuff that i have keep for years. but in one side, if i decide to tell the truth and being honest, would i be strong? i just can't stand if he tell the truth about 'them'. NOPE.
FYI, i do wanna know, but i can't stand if the answers are hurting me. sigh -.- it's kinda creepy, you know. and what could have i do? i'll always thinking about it. well, it's too much. i don't care about ** anymore, all i care is him. hmm...
there's nothing i can think about, except how can i stop lying myself and tell the truth about all this stuff? i just can't. it's killing me inside, LOL, kidding. i'm not that typical girl. anyway, i feel happy right now. what i should wish for?
everybody need their own time for grow their mood. and that's happen to me. i starting to realize that i will lost my BF if i still did this. i just don't know why i can't be honest. and it's sucks. i do want to tell him, but looked what i did?! i just crushed it all with many different arguments. since the last time i checked, i'm done with anybody in my past. but now, why they showed up again? all last year i was trying so hard to be the right girl for **, but i'm not. this isn't work at all. but then, i agreed that it's not my decision to make, i don't even try. i'm too scared too spoiled those day, and sometimes remember all of those memories behind.
i don't wanna put this down, so i will try with my best to do anything. once more, why i feel always in doubt? i always feel that way. and i just can't be honest that i can't 100% believe in him. it's not like he's cheating or something, but... i don't know. it's just doesn't seems right. in one side, i don't wanna hurt him with my past and all of my stuff that i have keep for years. but in one side, if i decide to tell the truth and being honest, would i be strong? i just can't stand if he tell the truth about 'them'. NOPE.
FYI, i do wanna know, but i can't stand if the answers are hurting me. sigh -.- it's kinda creepy, you know. and what could have i do? i'll always thinking about it. well, it's too much. i don't care about ** anymore, all i care is him. hmm...
there's nothing i can think about, except how can i stop lying myself and tell the truth about all this stuff? i just can't. it's killing me inside, LOL, kidding. i'm not that typical girl. anyway, i feel happy right now. what i should wish for?
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